Reflecting on "What I do"

I read a post called "A Living vs. A life" by Allison Rivers and it got me to reflect.
Yesterday, in a class I'm taking, I was asked "what do you do?" and I replied:

"I teach Kindergarten in a public school, and I coordinate professional development at a private non-profit preschool, and I work with a non-profit that helps at-risk-youth through expressive arts, and I write, I act with a community theater group, and I care for a husband and 20 year old son (and any number of other people who adopt us from time to time) and two dogs. And I am the lead singer for a rock & blues band, and I also sing in an acoustic duet group, and I do the student thing too. I wear a lot of hats"

Absolutely fascinating that the only thing I identified with in the "I am a __" was not what I make my living doing, and not what I aspire to make my living doing. Singing is something I think of differently. And, as a matter of fact, I refuse to take my cut when the band gets paid to play out - I contribute my share back to the group for maintaining equipment. And yet I list singing as if it were my identity.

Don't get me wrong, I love to teach. I love to write. I love all the things I do - or I simply wouldn't do them. I'm just that self-indulgent. But singing is different. I don't really control it, I just let it out. Teaching children I do because I love to, but I do it with forethought and deliberateness. Singing - not so much. I open my mouth and let emotion run past my vocal chords.

So, consider this chart I recently modified from the work of +Aristotle Bancale. The original conversation had to do with how to choose a career path, but three circles didn't leave room for how some choices would feel compared to others, so this became about finding your purpose and making a living at it.

I have no doubt that teaching Kindergarten is my bliss.  I think that all my work in expressive arts, from writing to drumming to acting to working with kids on any of these, is where I find fulfillment or contentment.

It seems that I identify - "I am"- with my passion. And though it could move to that area of satisfaction if I were to accept pay for it, I resist that so that I may keep it a passion. I think that somewhere, deep down, I fear that it would move from satisfaction to comfort and it would no longer be what I love. 

 If I allow "what the world will pay for" to enter the equation, I will be reduced to singing what will sell, in a way that it will sell, and I would lose what I love most about singing... that it has nothing to do with my mind or my thoughts - just with the feelings in my gut and the gift (as Pavoritti described it) of a golden throat.

I didn't realize any of that till I heard myself describe what I do. Fascinating.

What do you do?

A Virtual Tour of My Kindergarten Classroom

Ms. Dorothy,

My child has been assigned to your class, but we were not able to make it to the Back to School Night.  Is there some way I can show my son what his Kindergarten classroom looks like so he has an idea of what to expect?

Nervous Dad

What perfect timing! Here is a slideshow I just created from photos of my room.  Hope you enjoy it! I'm looking forward to meeting you both next week!

Classroom tour

View more presentations from DorothyShapland.

How do I help my 2 year old adjust to school?

Ms. Dorothy,
I am a working lady. My daughter is 2years and 4 months old, she is able to speak fluently in her mother tongue, and understands English as well. In my absence she is taken care by my Mother in law.
She got admitted to pre-kindergarten or nursery on 13th June. She goes to school in school van, her school timings are 8.30 am to 11.30 am, 5days a week. It’s been more than 2 weeks, but still cries a lot and reluctant to go school everyday. She wakes up in the morning and starts telling/crying “don’t want to go school” till she sits in school van.
I try to make her understand that school is a lovely place by telling many stories every night before getting sleep, but the next day morning it’s the same.
Even on off days i.e. Saturdays and Sundays, even after we tell her that. Saturdays and Sundays are holidays, making her ready as part of daily routine or plan to take out somewhere, she thinks that we might send her school, she is fearful and whole day very often she tells I don’t want to go school.
I spoke to her teacher; she says she is okay at school. She blames me that I am over anxious and over protective, that’s why my child is behaving so. But I don’t really admit.
Each day is getting a challenge for me. Please help me out to make my child comfortable to school.
-Concerned Mother

There are many reasons why children express fear about going to school.

The biggest worry is always that there is something happening at school which frightens her. An insensitive or neglectful teacher, a bully, even someone trying to do her harm. I can tell you that while this is every mother's greatest fear, it is very rarely the cause of a child's distress.

Chances are that the teacher is not blaming you as much as she is trying to reassure you of this fact.

Your daughter is probably safe and just fine in school as the teacher told you, but her fear and distress are also very real and should not be ignored.

By the age of 2, children are usually trying to figure out how to get what they want. Sometimes children your daughter's age become demanding, or throw tantrums, or tell people "no!" as they try to discover how to get their needs met. Your daughter may be expressing fear and trying to gain control of an uncomfortable situation.

While your daughter understands English, she may not be comfortable to express herself to people who do not speak her mother tongue. This could mean that the three hours she is in school feel very isolating to her. If she is not hearing the language that is most comfortable to her ears, those three hours can seem very long and distant.

She has also had the undivided attention of an adult up until now, and suddenly to have to share the only adult with other children in a class can be very hard for some children.

She may be experimenting with making you feel guilty, and trying to see if she can have her will. Or playing out behaviors she thinks are expected. Believe it or not, sometimes children think that they are expressing how much they love you when they cry about going to school, and that you might be disappointed if you thought they didn't miss you.

Sometimes children become distressed because they don't like letting a younger sibling have a parent's attention while they are not around.

There are some things you can do to help her with her worry about going to school.
What you are already doing - telling her stories to comfort her - is excellent, and you will need to be consistent and keep telling her about what a lovely place school is, and not let her see your concern.

Instead of talking about Saturdays and Sundays as holidays from school, try and talk about what sad days they are because she does not GET to go to school. If you are reassuring her in a way that makes her think school is something she has to tolerate, she may continue to resist it.
Stay positive and happy and excited when you talk about school.

When you see her at the end of the day, be excited to hear about the wonderful things she did.

Focus on how happy you are to hear about school and not on her distress.

You can also help her to choose something of yours (a necklace or bracelet that she can wear perhaps, or a photo of her loved ones) to bring with her to school. Something to hold onto when she misses you.

There is a book called "the Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn that can be helpful if your daughter is having trouble separating.

Find another family in the school to befriend and schedule play dates with.

Ask the teacher if you can donate a favorite toy of your child's to the classroom for her to look forward to playing with. 

Give her crayons and let her express her worries on paper.

One final thought - while it seems like it's been forever, two weeks is not impossibly long, and she may yet make this adjustment on her own, don't give up!

I wish you both the best of luck.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Success:To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!"~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today I completed the 'Trust 30' challenge. 

Some things I learned - 

I read  Self Reliance when I was very young.  It benefited me in ways I didn't recognize till now.  

I don't let fear stop me from doing much.

I am ready for the great things I am going to make happen.

See the prompts and my responses on the On Self Reliance page.  Your comments are welcome!

How can I support my kids learning to type?

Ms. Dorothy,
My daughter's 4th grade teacher is teaching cursive this year, but she is the only teacher in the school who still does.Writing just isn't something I do very often any more, and I know my kids are going to need to do less and less of it. Just holding a pen or pencil is impossibly hard for my 1st grade son. When and how do I help my kids learn to type?
- A Mom

I've written about typing here, but I just came across a couple of sites that you might find interesting. One is a free online resource for  learning to type called Typing Web and another is called Fun to Type and is full of games for different levels of typing practice.

You are absolutely right about handwriting being a fading art. I heard a teacher, recently, wondering how much longer we will even hand sign checks.  

The brain wants to learn through the movement of muscles, so forming those letters by hand is still really important for your young son's development. If you are interested, I've posted some ideas for helping to develop and strengthen the hand for writing here and here.