How can I stop a class clown from cutting up?

Ms. Dorothy,

How do I curb my 5 year old's tendency to be the class clown without crushing his spirit?  Any suggestions?

- Mom of a Kindergarten boy

If your son is any good at being a cut-up in school, he probably has some real leadership skills waiting to be refined.  The last thing anyone should be doing is crushing that spirit.

If he is charming and the teacher can't resist him, and thinks of him as clever and funny, he has the potential to be a charismatic leader.  If the teacher gets frustrated and annoyed with him, he has the potential to be a dynamic and challenging leader.  

The world needs more of both.  

Your son needs direction and guidance about how to direct this powerful energy.  He needs to know that he is a great and natural leader, and that others listen to him, laugh with him, and are drawn to him because he is rare and remarkable.  And he needs to know that "with great power comes great responsibility."  

He needs to know that he can, and should, use his power for good.

Talk to his teacher about finding appropriate outlets for him to lead the class where he can have real control.  

Get the class singing a chant, and let him orchestrate; directing one section to get louder and another to get quieter, directing the group when to stop.  Let him create a new rule for a song or game that the class already knows, and let him explain his new (probably silly) rule and lead the class in playing his way.  Have him make up new words to add to the end of a chant the class already knows.  

Ask his teacher to give him opportunities to make the class laugh when it isn't a disruption. Knowing that he will have the chance to exert that kind of control once in a while will be a powerful carrot for the other times when the teacher needs to be in charge.

How can I get more parents to volunteer?

Ms. Dorothy,

My kindergartener has had several parties since school started. The classroom mom sends out an email each time asking parents to either contribute snacks, crafts, games or a small monetary donation. Every single time it's the same 4 moms that help. One mom even ended up spending $100 (TRUE STORY!) to make sure that there were enough games and activities for whole class. It seems so unfair that out of 30 students, 4 moms are shouldering all of the responsibility. How can we encourage more parents to step-up?

- Exhausted Momma

It is generally true that 10% of the people do 90% of the work, so this isn't unusual. Because you are parents of kindergarten children, you may just be seeing this for the first time. It won't be the last time you find yourself shouldering more than your fair share. You are one of the 10%. Thank you for that, and for all you do.

The problem here is not that the other parents won't step up, the problem is that the teacher is misusing the support that is available. Rather than throwing parties and having parents providing games and crafts and food, the teacher should be using these willing volunteers to read with students, organize parent education nights, and share their talents, passions and careers with the children.

Perhaps the solution is to get those 4 parents together and have them suggest an alternative to the next party. What a powerful learning tool it would it be to have these parents find and plan a service project for the class. They could teach their children the value of volunteering, and maybe change that 10% statistic in the future.

How can I make a change in public education right now?

Ms. Dorothy,
What can I do right now to change what is wrong with education for my students? I'm a relatively new teacher and I just want to feel like I'm doing something to make it better. Everyone complains, but no one will tell me what specifically I can do tomorrow that will matter. I know there are a million things that need to change, and I can't fix all of that, but there must be something I can do that would make it better. Right?
- 1st year Teacher

What a great way to look at making lesson plans for tomorrow! Of course there are things we can all do to make education work for students, and maybe your idea of one thing, right now, is the best way to go about it.

If I were to name one thing that you can do to improve education, I would say that you should have a passion outside of school. There should be something in your life that is exciting and inspiring to you, something that you enjoy doing, something that you look forward to spending time on, that isn't school.

That may seem really hard right now, you are just starting teaching, and it probably consumes far too much of your personal time- and that is reason enough to start working on your passion now. Not because you need something else to do, but because you need to bring something that isn't in a text book or curriculum map to your students.

Learn to play an instrument. Join a rock band. Audition for a community theater play. Crochet blankets for a shelter. Volunteer to sit on the board of a non-profit organization. Open a community garden. Start a blog reviewing movies or books. Photograph light poles or road signs. Take an art class. Study martial arts. Dance, mime, juggle, tell jokes, do yoga, learn to speak Klingon, or Elvish....

Your passion for something will open a world to them and invite the possibility that they too can explore. It will fuel your writing to have something in your life that excites you, and they will see that. It will fill you with drive and heal you when things are tough in school, and they will see how you are invigorated and refreshed by what you do. It will give you a different frame of reference and a new bank of metaphors, and they will see how what you teach applies outside of school.

It will make you a better teacher, and it will inspire other teachers, and that will make the whole system grow.

I'm certain that there will be many, many ways that you will make a difference in the lives of the students you teach. Remembering to work on the relationship you have with each individual child will always matter more than any other preparation you do.

When they know that you are there for them, and not just for the content you teach, all the rest becomes easier. And when they know that you care enough about yourself to feed your own passions, they will value your relationship that much more.

How do I stop a blurter?

Ms. Dorothy -
I have a student in my class who is always calling out and trying to get the rest of the class to copy him. The class ends up mimicking him and he is always giving wrong answers or smart answers to get them to laugh. How do I get him to stop blurting out wrong answers and obnoxious comments for the class to copy? He is so disruptive to the students who are behaving!
- Primary Teacher

It sounds like this student has some real leadership needs. Possibly even some skills as a leader! What about re-focusing him to lead the class in a productive way? Is there something that he is particularly passionate about? Can you have him be in charge of leading a class activity that would be of interest to him? Maybe leading a song, a math discussion, a game, or being your assistant for something important will satisfy his need to be in charge.

Giving him the chance to be "the teacher" for some routine during the day might be the best way to diffuse his need to call out at other times. If you empower him to lead at something that matters to him and is positive for the class, perhaps he will need less attention in other ways.