How do I get this child to focus on his work?

Ms. Dorothy,
I have a student who is fully capable of doing the work I assign, but he just doesn't focus and get it done. He can do it, he is just lazy. He has had Special Ed help in the past, but has kind of aged out of that.  What can I do to get him working at his potential?!
- 6th grade Teacher

It seems to me that it is very rare that a learning disability goes away because of age, and I don't believe that "laziness" is a qualifying condition, so it is probably not the underlying cause of his academic struggles. 

A lack of focus can result from a wide variety of organic issues. 

Perhaps a closer look at what his IEP says, or what his previous teaching team has to say will help you to see what is going on with this student.

Either way, matching teaching style with processing and learning style, and making the most of interests is the best way to support an unmotivated learner. 

I don't believe we can expect students to change their attention and focus if we aren't willing to understand and meet them where they are. 

We need to adjust the teaching to suit the needs of our students, not the other way around.

How do I decide where to send my kids to school?

Ms. Dorothy,
I'm wondering what your opinion is on some of the educational alternatives I'm considering for my kids. They are still in preschool now, and I don't want to pay for private schools, but I'm not convinced that regular public schools are the right answer any more. I've been looking at a Montessori charter school, an Expeditionary Learning magnet school, and a Core Knowledge charter school in my area. I know you are familiar with all of them, and I want to know your thoughts about the pros and cons of each.
- Dad weighing Schools of Choice.

Well, I am an AMS certified Montessorian, and an Expeditionary Learning Outward Bound instructor. I have taught in a charter school, a magnet school, a private school, a "regular" public school, and a pilot school. I've even done the home school route. I have never taught in a Core Knowledge school, though some of my friends do. I've tried a lot of these models, both as a teacher and as a parent, and I have my biases.

The most important thing for you to consider is your children.

Knowing who your students are as learners and as individuals is essential in making this decision. Being prepared to try something else as your children grow and change is also important; as is considering the possibility that what works for one might not work for the other.

Yes, there is a lot of data out there about how children in each of these settings fare on tests of knowledge or skill. There are also some long term studies done on how these different models prepare children for the rest of their academic careers.

None of that matters if your son or daughter doesn't "fit" the model you are considering, or if the philosophy of education is not aligned with what you believe about teaching and learning.

Go do some research, and know all you can about what you are weighing. Go and visit these schools of choice. Talk to the teachers if you can. Ask hard questions about your specific children's needs and issues as learners. Find someone who feels the way you do about educating your children.

Then trust your gut, and leap with conviction, and do whatever you can to support your children in the model you've chosen.

Because when it comes to education, nothing done half-heartedly works. Ever.

How do I model writing in Kindergarten?

Ms. Dorothy -
I am supposed to write in front of my students every day and model what I expect to see them trying to do. However, in Kindergarten most of my students are just learning the sounds that letters make, and usually write the first letter in each word. Do you think I should be writing with beginning letters, or writing complete words? I'm not comfortable spelling words wrong just for them to see how to sound them out, but I'm not sure if that is what I am supposed to do. What do you do?
- Kindergarten Teacher

This really is an important question when it comes to kindergarten students. They do need to see a demonstration of what they are capable of. They also need to see accurate writing so they can begin to recognize words and correct spelling.

Generally, what I do is write the way I expect to see them writing. "I w to go to the s w my f " and then I go back and fill in the missing letters. "I want to go to the store with my family." This way, what remains on my chart is something that they can read back and build their reading vocabulary.

Sometimes I have a student or two in the class who can read and write at a much more advanced level than the others. These children can get very distressed when I demonstrate inaccurate writing, but they are great at helping me fill in the missing letters.

The important thing to remember is that everyone knows you are the best writer, the best reader, and the best speller in the room. You should be, you've had more practice than anyone else! As long as you don't try to pretend that you don't know how the words are spelled, you can always demonstrate credibly what they should do.

How do I get my child's teacher to do what she is supposed to?

Ms. Dorothy -
______'s teacher is required to use a microphone to compensate for _____'s hearing loss. Either the teacher won’t use it because she doesn't feel like it, she uses it but without the volume even on, or she claims for weeks that it is broken. Then she scolds ______ for not listening when ______ can't even HEAR her. How do I get this teacher to comply with my child's IEP and not make life hell for him?
- Mom of a Hearing Impaired Student

I am so sorry that your son is going through such a rough year in school! He is lucky to have you on his team because this can be corrected.

First of all, when you attend a Special Education staffing meeting, they are required to provide you with your parental legal rights. Refer to this often, and never be afraid to use your rights to support your son! You are his best advocate and the first line of defense against a system not designed for the exceptions among us.

Have your son approach the teacher to tell her that he can't hear her. They could set up a signal between them so that he doesn't have to disrupt the class. This way he can indicate that he is not able to hear what she is saying well enough to understand her any time it happens.

If this is hard for him, make an appointment to meet with her and be there to help him talk about his struggle. Make a plan for him to keep a journal of every time he needs more volume and track that he signaled for it and if he got it.

If you don't see progress in this area quickly enough, if the microphone is not repaired, or if the teacher is not comfortable with the volume level he needs, request another meeting and ask for a representative from the Special Ed team to be present. Use the journal to document that you made an effort to correct the situation, but that he is still having trouble. Let the Special Ed team intervene on his behalf to ensure that his needs are being met.

Fight for his rights when you suspect they are not being addressed.

How can I help my child fit in at school?

Ms. Dorothy ,
My 8 year-old daughter is having a hard time fitting in at school. Her class is full of cliques and she just hasn’t found her niche yet. There are many days that she ends up sitting by herself at recess. I have encouraged her to smile, to be kind, and if nothing else works, be content playing on the monkey bars by herself. Nothing is working! What can I do to help her “fit in??”
-Worried Mom

Your positive attitude and faith that she will eventually find her niche and fit in is her strength! Keep believing in her and encouraging her to be good with being on her own!

The thing about cliques is that they are typically made up of children who have something in common. It may be something very superficial, but there is something about themselves that they recognize in one another. Insecurity is what makes cliques exclude anyone who they don't see that trait in. The best approach is often through that insecurity.

One way she may be able to approach other children is by having that knowledge. Ask her to look for what the unifying thing is about a group, what it is that they think they all have in common.

It is important to remember that we make friends one relationship at a time. Breaking into a clique is about making one friend. Once she figures out what she has in common with one person, the problem will fade.

How powerful it will be when, in time, she reaches out to include the little girl she sees sitting alone on the playground.

How can I help my child feel successful despite her differences?

Ms. Dorothy -

My daughter has some physical disabilities that have affected her learning. She’s a bright girl, but it just takes her a little while longer than her peers to catch on to things. Now that she’s getting older, she’s realizing that it takes her longer to take tests and that her grades are not as high as her classmates. How can I let her know that her best is good enough, even though her grades show differently? And on the other hand, I don’t want her to think grades don’t matter, because they do!

- Mom of Special Ed student

First of all, yes, she is amazing just as she is. And yes, it's important that she knows her momma loves her and sees her as perfect.

It is important that you be an advocate for her as well. Having special needs gives you some legal footing for making sure your daughter gets what she needs to be successful in school.  Take advantage of the leverage you have, and make sure she feels as accomplished as her peers do in the eyes of the school.

Something that might help her grow to value her own hard work would be a report card about how she is doing in class.  Not just the academics, but more specifically, an effort grade attached to every subject area or assignment. 

Working with a second set of grades might help her to see herself differently.  With a 1 to 4 effort rubric, she might find more satisfaction with what she accomplishes.  If a 1 means she gave minimal effort, a 2 means there was some effort, a 3 means a grade-level appropriate amount of effort (proficiency benchmark) and a 4 means above average, advanced or exemplary effort, it would be easy for the teacher to grade her for how hard she works.

She has as much right to be proud of her work as an A student who coasts, and getting that kind of a grade from her teacher will mean more to her than hearing it at home because it's "official."  When she gets her report card she can see that, while she may have gotten a C in Math, she got a 4 for effort - which puts her above other students in her grade. 

It is a tactic to help level the playing field, and by asking her support team to write it into her Individual Education Plan, you shouldn't have to negotiate for getting that kind of help from the school year after year.

Keep talking to her about how every person brings gifts to the world, and not all of them are recognized in the same ways.  Getting A's in school might be Mom's thing right now, but certainly Uncles shine in other ways, and so do big sisters.