Why do we study what we don't value?

We recently surveyed 104 teachers representing 12 US states, 4 provinces of Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Great Brittan and Japan, teachers from birth through university, with degrees from 92 colleges and universities ranging from none to AA, BA, MA, M.Ed, PhD, in 49 fields of study, with teaching credentials from none to state licensed, province licensed, specialty licensed, endorsed, credentialed, and certified, and teaching experience ranging from 0 to 44 years. What they had in common was access to the internet, and 90% self-identified as white/Caucasian.

Teachers evaluated the various teacher programs they participated in, and how they feel they were prepared in terms of various relationship development factors. 

Teachers then evaluated how supported they felt during the first three years of their teaching.  This is generally a time when mentorship, if available, is provided.  It is also the time that licensed teachers are in a probationary period in many states, and when continuing training and development is required to ensure that teachers have the skills determined key by different states or districts.

Teachers also shared which of these factors they valued most in their teaching.

 In analyzing this data, we decided to compare pre-service preparation and support in the first three years to what was valued most.  The results were striking.  There is an inverse relationship between what we value in education, and what we feel we are prepared for.

In an effort to determine the best methods for educating teachers after the first three years of teaching, teachers were asked where they learned the most about each of these areas.  Experience was selected as the foremost learning tool for all areas overwhelmingly.  The results seem to support the idea that self-initiated training (professional reading, workshops and conferences) and experience are the primary ways that these relationship building skills are learned.

 Questions that arose from this analysis are those surrounding the causes for our values and experiences.  It is possible that we are not well prepared for relationship building despite how we value it.  It is also possible that we grow to value those things we learn on our own over those things we are directly instructed on.

What do you see?

How do I get my class to turn in homework?!

Ms. Dorothy,
I have tried taking away recess, holding kids after school, and calling home. I've also tried class bribes, incentives, and individual prizes. It doesn't seem to matter what I do, my kids just don't do homework, or if they do it, they don't turn it in! It is making me crazy, and I am out of ideas. Can you help?
-4th grade teacher

There really is only one right answer to this problem.  Stop giving homework.

If they aren't doing it, or aren't turning it in, it is probably because the work has no meaning for them.  Those who are doing the homework probably don't need the extra practice, but are willing to, or enjoy complying with your expectations.  

I understand the thinking that homework builds discipline, and good habits, and that putting the extra practice in at home will help to solidify learning, but you aren't getting any of those things.  

Take some time and reflect on the amount of time in class, and the amount of energy outside of class, you have put into trying to make your class value the homework you assign. Then consider what else you might have accomplished with that time and energy if homework were off the table. 

If you have school requirements for homework, ask your students to read books, magazines, or websites at home. But stop battling them to prove that they've done it.

Consider what might happen if you give every student a perfect grade for homework for the rest of the year, and then asked them what they'd have to do to live up to that grade.  

How do I help my children get ready for college?

Ms Dorothy,

What are some good resources for getting your kid financially ready for college, if you know you won‘t be able to afford tuition, like scholarships, financial aid, work-study programs? My parents never went to college so they had no IDEA how to help prepare us kids. My brother and sister ended up dropping out and I’m just now finishing after starting 13 years ago! I want my kids to go, and I want to know NOW what to do to help.

- Mom of three

This is a great time to start thinking about college and what you will need to know. Start educating yourself now, and you will be ready to help your children when the time comes.

One thing you need to know is that the landscape keeps changing when it comes to federal grants and loans, and even when it comes to what colleges are expecting. There are some great resources out there that can help you stay abreast of changes. Look at this Education Weekly blog for some current info about the issues that impact getting access to colleges.

Keeping your children focused on that goal is important, and it isn't too early to start. The more they are engaged in the things they are passionate about, even as they change over the years, the more interesting they will be to the colleges and scholarships they apply for.

Because you are in college yourself, your children are getting to see how you value education, and are learning about what it takes to be a college student first hand.

Letting them know that you expect them to be in school through college may be the biggest difference between how you raise your children and how your parents raised you.

How do I get my children to share?

Ms. Dorothy,

What is your take on "sharing" both between sibling and in the classroom? I know that in the Montessori preschool a child has their work, and they can choose whether or not another is allowed to join them. Do you feel it is essential to teach your children to share when they have received a gift?
- New Teacher & Getting Married Soon

Keeping children from grabbing and fighting over things in a classroom is much easier when there are ground-rules like in the Montessori classroom. If it is well established that every child has the right to play with the materials they have chosen until they are through, there is no room for disagreement.

If you want your children to learn to share, the most important thing you can do is make sure they see you model it. Telling children to share, and actively demonstrating what it is to be generous and thoughtful are very different. One results in internalized learning, the other doesn't.

When you receive a gift, invite them to help you open it, invite them to try it out. Don't worry about how long they have it or what they do with it. Thank them for giving it back to you when they do.

Remember that the less they have, the harder it is for them to trust their things in the hands of others. And the more they have seen at home that contradicts what you show them, the harder your task will be.

When you see them emulate your behavior, acknowledge their generosity and praise them for sharing, every time. For some, it will stick and grow.

How can I get more parents to volunteer?

Ms. Dorothy,

My kindergartener has had several parties since school started. The classroom mom sends out an email each time asking parents to either contribute snacks, crafts, games or a small monetary donation. Every single time it's the same 4 moms that help. One mom even ended up spending $100 (TRUE STORY!) to make sure that there were enough games and activities for whole class. It seems so unfair that out of 30 students, 4 moms are shouldering all of the responsibility. How can we encourage more parents to step-up?

- Exhausted Momma

It is generally true that 10% of the people do 90% of the work, so this isn't unusual. Because you are parents of kindergarten children, you may just be seeing this for the first time. It won't be the last time you find yourself shouldering more than your fair share. You are one of the 10%. Thank you for that, and for all you do.

The problem here is not that the other parents won't step up, the problem is that the teacher is misusing the support that is available. Rather than throwing parties and having parents providing games and crafts and food, the teacher should be using these willing volunteers to read with students, organize parent education nights, and share their talents, passions and careers with the children.

Perhaps the solution is to get those 4 parents together and have them suggest an alternative to the next party. What a powerful learning tool it would it be to have these parents find and plan a service project for the class. They could teach their children the value of volunteering, and maybe change that 10% statistic in the future.

How do I get my boys to READ?

Ms. Dorothy,
When it is time to read, how do I get my boys to sit and read for the amount of time appropriate for their grade? I have sons from grade school to high school, and they all seem to have a hard time focusing on reading. I find they wiggle and make excuses to not sit and read.
- Homeworking Mom

The first most important thing about getting kids to read is helping them to find something that interests them. Remember that reading doesn't have to be about a novel either. Recipes are for reading, manuals, magazines, newspapers and even blogs can be great reading material.

One thing that a lot of busy parents overlook is the fact that children learn to value what they see their parents value. Telling them about how important reading is to you isn't quite enough. They need to see the adults in their life read, and your boys need to see that the men in their life make time to read.

So often we save reading as a treat to enjoy when the business of the day is done, and the kids are off to bed. Making reading a treat to share with your sons in the middle of a weekend day can go a long way toward inspiring them to read. Everyone grab their own reading materials, find yourselves in the same room and read, read, read.

What should I do about thefts at my child's school?

Ms. Dorothy,
We have had a problem with thefts at my daughters school-- from backpacks, to coats, to snacks out of her lunchbox. I have written her name on EVERYTHING she takes to school, but this still isn’t working. I know I’m not the only parent at the school who has had problems with this issue. What can I do to make sure my kid’s stuff stops getting stolen!?
- Concerned Mom

It's always good practice to put your child's name on things. Very often children will mistake one lunch box for another, and a name helps to get things back to the original owner. If this is a problem that is occurring throughout the school, be sure to bring it to the attention of the administration so that it might be addressed school-wide.

When it comes to your daughter, think of this as an opportunity to establish and affirm your values about property. Talk about how full and rich her life is, and how she will never want for anything that matters. Help her to understand that people who fear the loss of things sometimes give themselves the right to take from others. How lucky you are to know your child will never be the one feeling so neglected that she steals to fill her needs.

Pack her an extra snack to give away. Bring the jackets she has outgrown to school. When she gets a new backpack for the new school year, donate the old one.

Your participation as a volunteer and PTO member will give you a great avenue to brainstorm ways to address the problem with the school community.