How do I help my child with writing?

Ms. Dorothy,
My son's report card said he should "write every day about himself."  Why would a 6 year old need to write about himself every day?  What is he supposed to be writing?  How do I help him if I don't understand the directions?
- Kindergarten Dad

It is wonderful that you want to help your son work on this.  His teacher will probably have some specific instructions that will help you to reach this goal, so make an appointment right away to discuss it.

One of the most common pieces of advice given to writers is that they should write what they know. For very young children who are beginning to write, this will mostly look like writing about what happens in their daily lives.  

Kindergarten is a time for learning to draw with details. Drawing real people, places and events gives them material to begin writing about.  

Things your son has experienced first hand will be easiest to recall and describe, and are probably the stories most important to him.

A story as simple as "I went to the store with my Dad.  We bought a toy.  I like it."  gives your child opportunity to learn a great deal about the construction of  a word, a sentence, and a story, and will become a story he can recall and therefore "read" back.  

Anything your son draws or writes will help him to grow.  Find out what the teacher is hoping for with this report card comment so that your work at home aligns with what is being taught in the classroom.

How can I help my child feel successful despite her differences?

Ms. Dorothy -

My daughter has some physical disabilities that have affected her learning. She’s a bright girl, but it just takes her a little while longer than her peers to catch on to things. Now that she’s getting older, she’s realizing that it takes her longer to take tests and that her grades are not as high as her classmates. How can I let her know that her best is good enough, even though her grades show differently? And on the other hand, I don’t want her to think grades don’t matter, because they do!

- Mom of Special Ed student

First of all, yes, she is amazing just as she is. And yes, it's important that she knows her momma loves her and sees her as perfect.

It is important that you be an advocate for her as well. Having special needs gives you some legal footing for making sure your daughter gets what she needs to be successful in school.  Take advantage of the leverage you have, and make sure she feels as accomplished as her peers do in the eyes of the school.

Something that might help her grow to value her own hard work would be a report card about how she is doing in class.  Not just the academics, but more specifically, an effort grade attached to every subject area or assignment. 

Working with a second set of grades might help her to see herself differently.  With a 1 to 4 effort rubric, she might find more satisfaction with what she accomplishes.  If a 1 means she gave minimal effort, a 2 means there was some effort, a 3 means a grade-level appropriate amount of effort (proficiency benchmark) and a 4 means above average, advanced or exemplary effort, it would be easy for the teacher to grade her for how hard she works.

She has as much right to be proud of her work as an A student who coasts, and getting that kind of a grade from her teacher will mean more to her than hearing it at home because it's "official."  When she gets her report card she can see that, while she may have gotten a C in Math, she got a 4 for effort - which puts her above other students in her grade. 

It is a tactic to help level the playing field, and by asking her support team to write it into her Individual Education Plan, you shouldn't have to negotiate for getting that kind of help from the school year after year.

Keep talking to her about how every person brings gifts to the world, and not all of them are recognized in the same ways.  Getting A's in school might be Mom's thing right now, but certainly Uncles shine in other ways, and so do big sisters.