Monday, February 7, 2011

How do I help my middle child feel loved?

Ms. Dorothy,
How do I show my son (3) that despite the fact he now has an older and younger sister (I just had a baby 8 wks ago, he was the baby before this, older child is almost 5), I still love him the same, and the reason I spend less one on one time with him is not because I love him less? I have not changed much of his life other then the obvious things. Any further advice?
- Busy Mom

Sounds like it is time to make a point of planning "dates" with each of your family.  

You already have some scheduled family time every night, but picking out one night a month for each of  you to get some one-on-one time could really help.

You know that an occasional Mom/Dad date night is essential for your marriage to stay healthy. 
What about taking one family hour a month for Mom/oldest to do something just for them? Once a month it is Mom/middle, and once it's mom/baby. Once a month Dad/oldest get a date time, Dad/middle, and Dad/baby.

Mapping out the calendar so that everyone knows when their time is coming gives everyone plenty of warning and time to choose how to spend the date. Picking and re-picking what to do with that time adds excitement, and the planning itself seems like personal time because the focus is on what you'll do together alone.  

You don't even have to go anywhere. Just close a door and put up a "private" sign up and give your full attention and focus to the one you are with.

Eventually, you may want to add "girls night" and "guys night" to the mix.

All of this will make the "family time" even richer because you will have experiences away from each other to share.

No comments:

Post a Comment